I never thought that I am a "traditional" Chinese parent who is driven by kids' performance & excellence. Recently my daughter's school produced a musical -- I attended the show on the opening night and was touched by their dedication & commitment (it is already not easy for a small school to produce a theater production :-). But frankly, I did not personally enjoyed the show -- it is not the scale of "Les Miserables" or "Phantom of the Opera"!
However, I started to get emotionally attached to this show when it was announced that this school production was nominated 12 cappies (annual award for all high school drama productions in Ottawa), a record even surpasses many large public schools. Last Sunday evening our whole family went to NAC to attend the Gala (just like Oscar or Tony award ceremony :-). I realized that I have been very proud of my daughter & her school in the past few weeks. I even have tendency to "brag" such achievement to several friends.
You might think that I am overreacted. What is wrong when parents celebrate kids' achievement & share their joy? But deep in my heart I know my attitude is not healthy: I should be proud of my kids (& their schools) whether or not their school team win any regional, provincial or even national award! We are all made of God's image, so my kids' identity should not be reflected by their achievements, and of course my self-esteem should not be shaped by how many trophies my kids have.
This is a simple biblical truth, but it takes me years to discover this blind spot of mine. I am going to discuss "parenting style" (using the following article) with a group of fathers in my church this weekend, and I pray that we will all benefited from mutual sharing & encouragement, and even from our own failures.
Resource: "Does Performance Drive Your Parenting?" by Ted Cunningham, Thrivng Family, March/April 2013 issue. pp.45-47. <http://www.thrivingfamily.ca/Features/Magazine/2013/does-performance-drive-your-parenting.aspx>.
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